I feel the need to bitch right now. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I figured I could do that here since I am at work and I can't scream a loud. I question a lot of things and think way too much about them. For some reason I feel that I don't deserve to be happy...why is this? Is it Karma? Is Karma even real or is it just an excuse I have come up with in my brain to try and answer why things have been going the way they have for me lately?
I just read over what I wrote up top here, and then think to myself...Kamille, is it really that bad? and no, no it's not. In fact, I really don't have the right to bitch about anything. I have so many great things and people in my life, so why do I get so depressed sometimes?
And this is what I constantly do...fight with myself. Whenever I get sad, a part of me tells myself to stop being a baby, then I get mad for being sad and then I try to tell myself to just be happy...but is it really healthy to be happy all the effing time?? Why is it so hard to just be happy anyway?? This post has a lot of questions in it huh?
I just feel that something in my life needs to change...no a lot of things need to change but I am so terrified of failing and I've lost my confidence that I continue to do the same things over and over. I kind of feel like I'm stuck right now. I just need to get out of this rut cuz it's really pissing me off!!!!!!!!
Okay, I think that's it for right now.
Have a great day!
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