Feeling good!

Took today off work so I could get stuff done around the house before our party this weekend.  That's the only thing that sucks about throwing parties.  You gotta clean up before and after.  Booo

I'm on day 3 of my so called cleanse that I made up.  I have been feeling a little different.  That's the best way to explain it.  Almost light headed and a little out of it, but my energy levels are good.  I got 9 hours of sleep last night...ewwww  Atreyu just farted and now I can't think!  OMG Something is wrong with this dogs butt hole...Ok I gotta get out of this room for a min.  I'll go refill my water and come back.
Alright, I'm back, and that smell is still lingering. haha  Where was I? I just finished eating 1/2 of a grapefruit and drinking yerba mate tea.  I believe I have been eating around 800-1000 calories a day.  I still need to run 3 miles today.  I ran 4 yesterday, and had to stop a few times cuz I felt like I was going to pass out, but didn't...yay.  The weather is still pretty crappy, so I'll probably have to drive to the gym and run on the dreadmill again.  Poor Trey, I haven't taken him on a run for a long time now.  He's pissed, I can tell.  He punched me in the face the other day.  I was in the kitchen and said "Let's chop cats" and he jumped up and bitched slapped me right in the face! 
There is a bunch of delicious crap sitting out on the counter and I haven't had any desire to eat it this entire week.  I am so proud of myself.  I am going to weigh in tomorrow to see if I have lost any weight at all.  I will punch Atreyu right in the knee caps if I haven't...sooooo  *Fingers Crossed*  for mine and Trey's sake. :)

Thyroid Update

Went and got an ultrasound on my thyroid today.  That was kind of weird.  The tech said that my thyroid looked okay to her, no masses or nodules, but she's not a Dr. so they are going to send the pics out and that I should know for sure by Friday.  I also got more blood tests taken.  I have a feeling that everything is going to come back normal (like all of my test results I get from the Dr.)  I get really frustrated with doctors.  I really like the one I have also, but I go and spend money to try to figure out what is wrong with me and always get the same answer...every thing's normal.  Okay, so is this all in my head!?  I feel that something in my body is off, like my hormones.  I probably need to get those checked.
This is the last week of 2010!  Kinda crazy.  I need to find a sexy dress to wear.  I think Kandice and I are going to have a fancy party of some sort for New Years...which has put me into kind of a panic.  Here I am still almost 10 lbs heavier then normal.  I decided to try to fast this week, and see how that goes...except yesterday I had a carnitas burrito for lunch!!  Crap! I also started training for my marathon this week, but my mileage isn't too high so I should be fine. 
Today is my 1st "fast" day.  I can't go a day without eating anything, so when I say fast, I mean eat a calorie restricted diet of mainly veggies and fruit.  It has gone pretty well and my energy levels are good right now.  Since today is a rest day on my training plan, I am going to go to the gym after work and do some weights.  I hope to lose 5 lbs by Friday, since 10 lbs is pretty much impossible (and unhealthy) to lose in 3-4 days.
I will check in tomorrow with my progress. 

Merry Christmas!!!

It's a beautiful morning here in Salt Lake.  The sun is shining and there's no snow on the ground, the only time I would complain about that is today. :) 
Went to midnight mass for the 1st time last night with Kandice and Joshes familia.  It was really neat.  I felt at peace there.  I am not of any religion, I was baptized as mormon, but stopped going to church when I was 10.  After going to midnight mass, I would definately consider becoming catholic.
I just added this little widget to my blog.  For a Christmas present to myself, I decided I am going to run the Salt Lake Marathon in April.  I am so excited, and scared. haha I figured if I blog about my training that also might help me stick to my training plan.  I also thought it be kind of cool to run 26 miles while I'm 26.
I'm going to go soak up some vitamin D now!
Merry Christmas to you all!!!!
Peace!

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference

If you've read one of my previous posts you will know that I obsess over food and exercise(I just had to spell check that, you think I would know how to spell the word ha ha)  I rarely step on the scale just because of how it makes me feel when I see those #'s.  I usually go by how my clothes fit.  I wake up Monday morning and put on a pair of jeans that are usually loose on me and notice they are way effin tight.  Oh no...it's going to be one of these days I think.  Maybe the jeans shrunk in the wash.  As I continue my morning routine, the tightness around my legs almost seems to suffocate me.  Okay Kamille, you have to do it.  I pull out the scale, get on it and can't believe the number I see.  That's gotta be a mistake.  Let's try this again.  Oh great, this reading is one pound heavier.
$@%$^*!!$@%$^*!!!!!$@%$^*!!!!!!!!!!
I try to rationalize with myself.  Okay Kamille, calm down, just breath, you are just going to have be more strict.
Wait, what!@  Eff that!  I am already strict, I am not perfect that's for sure, I love sugar, but I have only allowed myself one or maybe even two days a week to eat something I would not normally eat, and I do drink on the weekends.  But I weighed myself about a month ago, and was 10 lbs lighter!!
How have I gained 2 pounds a week!?! When I have been working to lose it. 
Then I had a melt down, I couldn't help it.  I really really hate myself sometimes. 
But I can't keep doing this to myself, there's nothing I can do now but move forward and just keep at it. 
My sister sent me a link about under active thyroids and I do seem to have 90% of the symptoms.  I am really hoping that is it because then I can get it fixed.
I have a Dr. appointment Monday...wish me luck :)

All of my friends are flakes

By that I mean they are each unique in their own way hehe but really, some of them are also flaky as hell!  I am talking about one friend in particular right now...I have tried to re-connect with my old best friend from high school.  We met in 7th grade and were inseparable until I got kicked out of my house and had to move in with my dad the day after 10th grade.  I spent my summer and the following year in NV while she stayed up in UT.  We talked a lot and even wrote letters to each other for a while.  As time went on the phone calls and letters between us were less and less.  I only lived in NV for a year and hated it so much that I called my mom up one day and asked if I could come back home.  Her and my step father at the time were splitting up(he was the one who kicked me out) and she made arrangements for me to come back home.  My moms friends were on a yacht somewhere on vacation and they were kind enough to let my mom, little sis and I stay at their house until my mom was able to find a house for us.  I just realized I kind of went off track there...so back to my friend and I...We did hang out a lot after I got back, but I really don't think we were ever the same after the whole move.  I think we both went through so much in that short period of time in our lives and both of us had changed.  I was too caught up in my boyfriend at the time(who is a whole other story in itself) that I ended up "quitting school" and got my GED at 17, moved into a little apartment and got a job.  I was WAY too eager to grow up, and now I wish I would have enjoyed my teens, but that's life.  I always have had to learn things the hard way.  As we grew older and started making lives of our own, we grew more and more apart like most friendships do. 
Any who, I got married at the young age of 19(to a different guy than the one mentioned above) and divorced at the young age of 21(that is also another story for another time)  This is when our falling out happened.  She claims she had misinterpreted something I had said about wanting to be alone after my divorce and said she thought that I was saying that directly to her(which I still don't believe that's why she stopped talking to me, actually I'm pretty sure I know the real reason but not ready to share that dirty laundry with the world just yet)
Years(not even sure how many) went by and we hardly talked or saw each other.  I was so angry and sad that she just cut me off like that.  I had made several attempts to talk to her but they never worked and I gave up.  She was not fully to blame though because she had also made some attempts to hang out but I am stubborn so I decided to do the same thing she had done to me and just not respond or answer her phone calls.  We played this stupid game for a long time and then one day I finally came to realization that our friendship was over...until about a month ago.  I had been thinking about her a lot and said screw it, I'm going to try this again.  I text her and asked her to go to dinner.  And guess what!?  She responded and we went out.  It went really good!  We had picked up where we left off, it was like all that time apart never happened.
This is where I refer back to the title of the post.  It has been almost two months since we went to dinner, I have text her at least once a week to hang out and she has come up with an excuse every time.  I know that she is busy with being married and having a baby now...and I understood that until this week.  I wanted to take her out for her b-day(which was last week)so I told her I was going to purchase(non-refundable) tickets to a play and she confirmed she would go.  Tonight is the play.  Guess what?  I got a text from her yesterday saying she wouldn't make it.  Really?? 
So yet again, I am going to wash my hands of our friendship.  She doesn't deserve mine anyway. :)

Always wear your seatbelt!

Kandice and I were riding with Shantel in her car last night to go see Easy A.  We are on the freeway and the lane merged and there was a vehicle next to us.  She speeds up and barely misses this car, this happened not once, but twice, the 2nd time was with a diesel truck.  Kandice and I didn't really have any reaction to what had just happened and Shantel says, "I like driving with you guys, you don't scream."