If you've read one of my previous posts you will know that I obsess over food and exercise(I just had to spell check that, you think I would know how to spell the word ha ha) I rarely step on the scale just because of how it makes me feel when I see those #'s. I usually go by how my clothes fit. I wake up Monday morning and put on a pair of jeans that are usually loose on me and notice they are way effin tight. Oh no...it's going to be one of these days I think. Maybe the jeans shrunk in the wash. As I continue my morning routine, the tightness around my legs almost seems to suffocate me. Okay Kamille, you have to do it. I pull out the scale, get on it and can't believe the number I see. That's gotta be a mistake. Let's try this again. Oh great, this reading is one pound heavier.
$@%$^*!!$@%$^*!!!!!$@%$^*!!!!!!!!!!
I try to rationalize with myself. Okay Kamille, calm down, just breath, you are just going to have be more strict.
Wait, what!@ Eff that! I am already strict, I am not perfect that's for sure, I love sugar, but I have only allowed myself one or maybe even two days a week to eat something I would not normally eat, and I do drink on the weekends. But I weighed myself about a month ago, and was 10 lbs lighter!!
How have I gained 2 pounds a week!?! When I have been working to lose it.
Then I had a melt down, I couldn't help it. I really really hate myself sometimes.
But I can't keep doing this to myself, there's nothing I can do now but move forward and just keep at it.
My sister sent me a link about under active thyroids and I do seem to have 90% of the symptoms. I am really hoping that is it because then I can get it fixed.
I have a Dr. appointment Monday...wish me luck :)
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